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Are
Your Children Growing Up Too Fast?
by
Kimberly Chastain
Each
time our children graduate from one stage to another (i.e.
crawling - walking, preschool - school, high school -
graduation) we as parents are excited and a little sad as
well. We want our children to grow up, but we reminisce
about the “good old” days.
I think those mixed feelings are normal for all of
us. My question for you is - “Are your children growing
up too fast emotionally and socially?” We can’t stop
their physical growth, but we can effect their emotional
and social growth.
Our
society is compressing childhood more and more to where
children are not children for very long. We only have 18
years in our entire life to be children. We struggle as
parents to keep our children innocent. Unfortunately, the
events of September 11th stole away even more of our
children’s innocence.
Children
are not little adults. Often, children dress like adults
in miniature. Children want to emulate their teen or adult
heroes in dress and talk. As parents we are fighting a
raging river in keeping our children young and innocent.
Society, schools, and parents are pushing children to
group up too fast.
Answer
the following questions to see if your children are
growing up too fast?
1.
Do your children want to wear clothing that is designed
for much older children?
2.
Do your younger children want to watch TV shows designed
for teenagers? Do your
teenagers
want to watch adult TV shows that contain sex and
violence?
3.
Are the books your children are reading age
appropriate?
4.
Are your children involved in so many
extra-curricular activities they have no down
time to
just explore or goof off?
5.
Are your children losing that wonderful
“childish” sense of wonder about the world
or do
they know it all?
6.
Do your find your children are growing increasingly
inpatient and have to be
entertained?
Do they often say I’m bored?
7.
Can you remember the last time you told your child
you are not old enough to know about a certain topic and
we will talk about it when you get older?
8.
When was the last time you told your children,
“No, you can’t do that until your
older or
that outfit is not acceptable to wear in our family?”
9.
Do you monitor what music your children listen to,
computer games they
play,
internet sites they visit - are they age appropriate?
10.
Do your children hang out with much older kids who are not
a good influence?
Hopefully,
these questions have caused you to stop and think about
how quickly your children are growing up. Due to
society’s pressures you will have to make a concerted
effort to keep your children innocent. There will be
parent and child peer pressure to force your children to
do things early. You may not be a popular parent when you
say No to something “everyone else is doing.”
Parenting is not for the fainthearted or a popularity
contest.
In
closing, let me relate a recent example. I was watching a
morning news shoe and they were discussing summer camps
for kids. The guest said more and more kids are looking
for computer and science camps, in order to improve their
resumes for college. I found myself yelling at the TV -
“Why can’t you just enjoy camp, instead of it looking
good on a resume. When
did camp stop being fun and started being work?”
Remember
the wise words of King Solomon in Ecclesiastes 3:1 -
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every
activity under heaven.” Childhood is a precious time and
it is all ready much too short, keep your children
innocent and protect their childhood.
Kimberly
M. Chastain, MS, LMFT is a Professional Life Coach and
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Kimberly helps
people achieve greater life balance, so they can spend
time doing the things they truly enjoy. For a free no
obligation coaching session, contact Kimberly at
freesession@kimberlychastain.com or visit her website at www.kimberlychastain.com
This
article is copyrighted by the author. All Rights Reserved.
No part of this article may be reprinted without
permission of the author.
©Copyright 2002
Roots,
Wings, and Something Else
by Teresa Bell Kindred
Someone
once said that the greatest legacy we can leave our
children is "roots and wings." While I agree
that those two concepts are critical when raising
children, I would also add that children need a strong
spiritual background.
If
we give our children roots so that they know where they
come from, and wings so that they can achieve their
dreams, but fail to give them a spiritual foundation to
build on, then in my opinion, we haven't succeeded as
parents. I also realize that there are no guarantees when
it comes to raising children. Even though we may work hard
to give them the things we consider valuable there is
always the possibility that things may not turn out as we
had planned.
We
are all familiar with Proverbs 22:6 which says,
"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he
is old he will not turn from it." (NIV) Good parental
advice, but do we take it to heart? What does it mean to
train a child in the way he should go anyway?
Deuteronomy
6: 6-9 says, "These commandments that I give you
today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your
children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when
you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you
get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on
your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your
houses and on your gates."
Sounds
like they took training their children very seriously,
doesn't it? Do we?
Oh
we love to train our children, but are we training them in
things that really matter? How many hours do we spend at
little league games and gymnastics practice compared to
hours we spend studying the Bible with our families? And
if children "learn what they live," then just
what are they learning at home?
Hopefully
they see mom and dad doing the following:
*Reading
their Bibles daily
*Treating each other with kindness, respect, and
consideration
*Praying together and separately
*Making God and church their number one priority
Raising
kids to become strong Christians doesn't just happen. We
are their role models and if we want our children to be
soldiers in the Lord's army then we have to lead the way.
Too often we concentrate on giving our children the
material things the world has to offer and not the fruits
of the spirit that Jesus has to offer. I agree with
someone named Leo Buscaglia who once said, "The only
thing of value we can give kids is what we are, not what
we have. "
Roots,
wings, and a spiritual foundation to build upon...now
that's a legacy any parent can be proud of!
This
article is copyrighted by the author. All Rights Reserved.
No part of this article may be reprinted without
permission of the author.
©Copyright 2002
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